All I can think about this weekend is how blessed my life has been and continues to be.
I look at leaves dangling from a tree outside the window and think about how perfect they are and how it all started. I ponder how it all works out, if God is proud of some of the good decisions I have made in my life and if this is the joy I am allowed to feel, the regular life of a little family growing. Our bucket of trials seems pretty manageable. No tragedy so far with us, is it coming later? Or is it just luck? Is there a grand correlation going on that permits us the opportunity to be so blessed? Is there a formula I accidentally got right? Because it seems others that get a tougher bucket of trials are doing things a lot more right. And on the flip side, some pretty screwed up people living a seemingly hassle-free life.
There is so much to figure out and piece together and answers to my questions I know I can find in my heart and in this giant book. But there are also some I am not supposed to know on this earth. Things that will make perfect sense when I am gone and doing more important things with the correct, noise-free perspective when I get to the other side of the veil.
I keep reminding myself of every single luxury afforded to me and my family. It's so easy to ignore all of them. When people ask me how I am doing, I realize I have the audacity to complain with a sigh that "he is getting heavier" as if it's a chore. My mind often flies through the list of things that are different, less comfortable each month. I'm reshaping such thoughts and remembering. The leaves help me remember each morning as they greet me from outside of the window.
Today I will change my mind. I will remember
He's getting heavier! This means he is thriving and getting what he needs from me! For this I am grateful.
I will also take more opportunities to have a seat and gaze out the window. And read that big giant book so I can try to figure some more things out.
I look at leaves dangling from a tree outside the window and think about how perfect they are and how it all started. I ponder how it all works out, if God is proud of some of the good decisions I have made in my life and if this is the joy I am allowed to feel, the regular life of a little family growing. Our bucket of trials seems pretty manageable. No tragedy so far with us, is it coming later? Or is it just luck? Is there a grand correlation going on that permits us the opportunity to be so blessed? Is there a formula I accidentally got right? Because it seems others that get a tougher bucket of trials are doing things a lot more right. And on the flip side, some pretty screwed up people living a seemingly hassle-free life.
There is so much to figure out and piece together and answers to my questions I know I can find in my heart and in this giant book. But there are also some I am not supposed to know on this earth. Things that will make perfect sense when I am gone and doing more important things with the correct, noise-free perspective when I get to the other side of the veil.
I keep reminding myself of every single luxury afforded to me and my family. It's so easy to ignore all of them. When people ask me how I am doing, I realize I have the audacity to complain with a sigh that "he is getting heavier" as if it's a chore. My mind often flies through the list of things that are different, less comfortable each month. I'm reshaping such thoughts and remembering. The leaves help me remember each morning as they greet me from outside of the window.
Today I will change my mind. I will remember
He's getting heavier! This means he is thriving and getting what he needs from me! For this I am grateful.
I will also take more opportunities to have a seat and gaze out the window. And read that big giant book so I can try to figure some more things out.
