So I have a new angle on naming this kid flipping around inside my normally calm and painless body. No sweet, family names for this little dear. I imagine he is going to be born with razor-sharp teeth for brutal nursing, spiked maces for feet, and I am fully convinced in place of hands he has tasers.
I am constantly getting electrical shocks to the system from the inside no matter how I sit, stand, sleep, or speak. A little zap to a nerve on the right side of my tummy sent a cookie sheet flying across the kitchen yesterday afternoon. Last night I was frozen like a statue at the bottom of the stairs with my new favorite location of torture: the sciatic nerve. Good choice, good choice my son. Let's not forget his most popular destination for shock treatment: the round ligament. This one creates the same aftermath of being kicked swiftly in the groin with a cowboy boot 43 times.
Why have I not heard about this before? Oh wait, I have, but I just didn't listen closely to my poor friends and family who have experienced this. Words like sciatica and round ligament pain do not do it justice, people. Let's start our own lingo for what this really feels like. Because if I knew this was what you were feeling I would have been a better friend. I would have at least brought you brownies.
