8.29.2010

Sunday

Sundays suck these days - because Mike has to leave and we are on our own for church.


So I have to remember the little moments I enjoy. Today I loved it when he came up behind me, put his arms around me and gave me a big squeeze. He planted a smooshy, pressy kiss into my unexpecting lips. I closed my eyes and took in the softness of his freshly shaven face and the comfort of his clean scent.

I also enjoyed dressing up my little girl for church.

And taking pictures of one of my little boys.

And talking about Jesus with my other little boy.

8.24.2010

chewing, spitting, free

Somehow gum sounds like the lamest invention ever when you explain it to an (almost) 3 year old.

He sees his older brother with it, so you try to go over the process. Explain how you chew it, BUT YOU DON'T SWALLOW it, you spit it out.

He looks confused. Asks why.

Well, it's this stuff you just don't want in your tummy.

Why?

Well, it's not good for your tummy. So you just chew it up a little and when it doesn't taste good anymore you spit it into the trash.

Silence. A car full of pondering.

I think he's happier with candy that requires less thought/effort/confusion.

Who thought of this first anyway? Hey- guys listen to this! I have this great idea....It's kind of like candy, but only halfway. Well, this stuff I actually made it with isn't really techincally GOOD for you, so after the flavor is gone with a few chews- GET THIS- you get to spit it out! Can you believe no one else thought of this first?!

===========

I honestly woke up this morning and knew I had to see what was for free in Nashville today.

First up, this luxurious chair.

I wish I could see the person who made it so filthy. It almost looks like a body died and rotted into it for a few days. Does anyone else look at this picture and wonder Why get rid of it now? What was the breaking point? Surely not the suffing coming out of the arm. Also, I like the overflowing trash in the background. And is that a big bottle of windshield washer fluid? I like to keep mine handy in the livingroom, too.

Bookshelf is up next. Just overlook that there bottom shelf, it's where them rats would scratch.


Shoes. Okay the black ones I can see are a generous offering and are in good shape. The red sparklies might have some potential. It's the narly sneakers that used to be white that make me think you would tie her to the back of the car and drag her home from school. Throw those bad boys away. No one needs to be showing up to school in orthopedic shoes that look like they have been buried 6 feet deep.


This is the winner. Mostly for the heading of the ad : "Hilarious Sweatband."


Then it just gets better with the person's explanation.


Yeah, I got this from a friend and it's funny to look at but it's just not my personality. If you like it, just text/call 615-574-4443, we can meet up, and I'll hand it over.
I have to agree with her. I keep looking at this sweatband and it's just so. darn. funny. No! It's not! It's DUMB AND NO ONE WANTS THIS. But I plan to call tomorrow. Because I enjoy entertaining myself. I can't wait to say "Hi I'm calling about the ad on craig's list for the HILARIOUS SWEATBAND, is it still available?" And guess who is bringing the BEST, most hilarious white elephant gift this year? This is so going to top the Wal*Mart G string I brought last year! Do you still have that, Richard?
UPDATE: I called. It was actually a grown woman like my age. No lie. I could tell by her voice. She said she got rid of that sweatband a LONG time ago. It still brought me joy to hear her reflect on what I was calling about 'oh, the make out not war?' and she said it with a smile. I could tell. She still thought it was hilarious even after it was gone.

8.20.2010

he was away

I missed you while you have been gone.

You are back in town and you are talking. I am watching your mouth move, there are words coming out, but I can't hear what you are saying. Those words float all around the air, but all I can focus on is your perfect lips. And how I love to kiss them. You are there and I am here longing for our bodies to press together. I feel myself leaning towards you like we are magnetic. You are impossible to resist.

Physical and emotional attraction is so chemical and stirring.

8.18.2010

potty language


One of my very (only?) favorite parts of potty training is when they put the underpants on themselves.


Backwards.


And walk around like it's totally normal.


It's waaaaaay too funny to correct. Until they are at least 5.


8.07.2010

this is redberry joy town


I experience my first day helping in the class this year. At least a dozen kids ask me if I am Zane's mom. Even though they are all standing next to each other within earshot the twelve times I asnwer yes, I am Zane's mom as he hangs his body from my waist. Then Amy told me she wished her mom would come to class, too. I liked her sparkly nail polish. Her brown pigtails and thick bangs made me wonder what Sylvia will look like in first grade.


I haven't spent a lot of time around first graders. They're a pretty rad group of kids. Mostly Sammy. The kid who sits behind Zane. He talks to me much of the time. He is a bigger kid, has cool rectangular shaped glasses and his new top teeth are already growing in! He has the interpersonal communication skills of a young adult. I could have hung out with Sammy all day long. Next is Sophie who Zane has a crush on and has kissed. She was in his class last year. She moves during story time to sit next to me with her big smile. Then there is the girl with the glittery shoes that light up all over the place while she taps her feet under her desk. She might have been Haley or Hayden Emily. I forget. I wonder about those shoes in my size a little bit too long. Sammy is going to get in trouble for talking, I smile and direct him towards his teacher.


They read Juny B. Jones and Zane hates those books because she says bad words. He hides under a table. Gets in trouble. I was listening to Sammy. I enjoy the way the teacher brings life to the story and keeps the children quiet. She uses a different voice with Zane, one that is a little more understanding and patient. I wonder if it is just because I am present. I keep expecting it to break, the patience streak, mostly because he is pushing limits like I have never seen before. She holds her nice voice for him so long that I know it isn't fake.


They learn a little about the heart and then Kaylee raises her hand while the class is busy coloring hearts. She's the one that talks a lot, we met her at the dollar store. I walk over to help her. She tells me she thought of another person who helps keep your heart healthy. I can't wait to see what she is going to say and hope I have a good shot at sounding impressed with her answer. She says Denise Austin. ?? I have no idea who that is. She stares at me with sure eyes and expects a reply. I wait in silence. She follows up with her report on how she works out to those tapes with her mom. I met her mom at cirriculum night. I instantly imagine them in matching track suits and sweat bands. Hot Pink. It makes me wish I could stay in the class all day and hear stories about everyone's lives from their first grade perspective.


We decide it's better I leave the class so Zane can get his work done. He cries. I stare at the copy machine in the work room for 10 minutes until I figure out how it makes two sided copies. There are boxes of donuts lining the counter. I debate which one I will choose when the teacher grading papers leaves. The one with pink icing and sprinkles. She doesn't leave. I finish copies. Give Zane a final hug and wipe his tears.


I would be a horrible first grade teacher. I would want to listen to them talk all day. They would be way more interesting than the lessons. And no one would learn.

8.06.2010

is that often or not at all?

I ran to the album Hup today by The Wonder Stuff. It kept my pace decent.

8.04.2010

arcade fire

Arcade Fire is pretty good. This is the song The Suburbs. Something about this song reminds me of the album Dusk by The The.



At age 33.....

I found my first gray hair today. I am positive it's from one of my three children and I could probably pinpoint the month it sprouted considering the amount of stress that was in my life then. I am honestly shocked it took this long to appear.
So. I'm part of the silver hair club now. Wow I had no idea how hot it would make me feel to be growing a new hair color. Makes me want to ride a harley naked down the streets of LA.

Not really. But you knew that.

In honor of today's excellent finding, here is some David Gray.

Unfortunately the videos take away from the excellence of the amazing voice of this man. Maybe close your eyes and have a listen. Careful not to imagine too much of my hotness with the aging hair color.



8.02.2010

currently...


The most annoying individual on television: Flo. The Progressive Insurance Commercial Girl. I can't decide if it's the horroble bump-it or the awful lipstick or the poor acting. Possibly all three. Truly, in sum, she is like finger nails on the chalkboard.
It delighted me to find upon research her name is Flo. I know of an old lady named Flo in California who swims nude in her pool. And then envites others to enjoy of her pube ridden waters at their leisure. Combining both Flos in my head makes me hate the t.v. one even more.

It's like she's now saying: Come buy our car insurance, with my creepy bugged out eyes that make me look like I am tripping out on acid and then let's go swim naked in yucky pool water.
ps. Dear Progressive: If you're going to put the girl in all white with an all white background the least you can do is send her in to get her teeth whitened professionally!
***
When we lived in Brooklyn we knew someone who worked for MTV for the show Celebrity Deathmatch. It was a show where claymation figures resembled celebrities and essentially fought in a boxing ring. If I worked on the show right now I would put Flo up against The Fresh Beat Band. And they would both smoosh into a flat pile of bloody nothingness. And that would make me feel better. Just the clay versions of them. I would never really want to actually hurt anyone. Although I might accidentally step on her toe if I stood near her on a busy subway car. But probably not. I'm really all talk. Um, I mean type. I type a mean game. But it just boils down to the fact that I would probably offer her my seat and grind my teeth with the desire to step on her toe. So they would never really hire me for Celebrity Deathmatch anyway because I am too nice.

hark!



First pigtails in the family! I am still getting the hang of fixing hair, so they are still a little sloppy, but at least I used a comb! Maybe by the time she's 5 I will know how to fix hair a little better.

This had to be his. Only because he was born in New York. And yes I believe that is, indeed, his middle finger.


Sometimes I forget how close in age these two are. Until they are both walking around next to each other in diapers or sitting side by side sipping milk with their baby toes close together.

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