8.02.2010

currently...


The most annoying individual on television: Flo. The Progressive Insurance Commercial Girl. I can't decide if it's the horroble bump-it or the awful lipstick or the poor acting. Possibly all three. Truly, in sum, she is like finger nails on the chalkboard.
It delighted me to find upon research her name is Flo. I know of an old lady named Flo in California who swims nude in her pool. And then envites others to enjoy of her pube ridden waters at their leisure. Combining both Flos in my head makes me hate the t.v. one even more.

It's like she's now saying: Come buy our car insurance, with my creepy bugged out eyes that make me look like I am tripping out on acid and then let's go swim naked in yucky pool water.
ps. Dear Progressive: If you're going to put the girl in all white with an all white background the least you can do is send her in to get her teeth whitened professionally!
***
When we lived in Brooklyn we knew someone who worked for MTV for the show Celebrity Deathmatch. It was a show where claymation figures resembled celebrities and essentially fought in a boxing ring. If I worked on the show right now I would put Flo up against The Fresh Beat Band. And they would both smoosh into a flat pile of bloody nothingness. And that would make me feel better. Just the clay versions of them. I would never really want to actually hurt anyone. Although I might accidentally step on her toe if I stood near her on a busy subway car. But probably not. I'm really all talk. Um, I mean type. I type a mean game. But it just boils down to the fact that I would probably offer her my seat and grind my teeth with the desire to step on her toe. So they would never really hire me for Celebrity Deathmatch anyway because I am too nice.
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