...that's a vanilla milkshake

My favorite friend in High School, Shannon, used to leave messages on my machine that always made me laugh. Right after the beep I would hear her reading from the classified section like it was poetry night. She would read as many in a row as the time on the tape allowed.

When I tried to repeat the gesture to her voicemail I stumbled upon a gem. It went something like this:

S/W/M
I am 3'5'' and weigh 554 lbs. I am a slothful, lazy bastard and do not enjoy outdoor activity. I mostly like to sit on the couch and scratch myself. I like t.v. dinners and hearty amounts of gravy. I collect stamps and scabs. If you have a good sense of humor call me.

We laughed so hard and truly contemplated calling this guy for a good laugh. If pervert could have been surely ruled out I think we would have invited him to join us for the usual weekend concert (it was almost always Agent Orange opening for some reason). I wonder if anyone ever did call him or get the humor of his ad.

That little experience is why I fell instantly for the movie Ghost World.


I plan to invest in the comic, which inspired the movie.