Lots of times I open my mouth and let words fall out, they just drop out into the air.


People giving lessons at church often like us to participate so they don't have to do all the talking. I have no problems with being the first to break the silence. I just don't always wait long enough to make sure I know what the lesson is about. Or long enough to make sure what I am going to say benefits the direction of the thoughts previously stated. But I keep doing it and it has become funny inside my head when it happens.

I normally enter the room late while the lesson has been going on, probably from wrangling my son into his class or feeding the baby. I take a seat and catch the tail end of whatever the teacher is saying. I only know she is taking pause and waiting for someone else to speak, answer her question or offer a precious piece of testimony. My arm shoots up before I can think and I am pleased to see her relief to know she has a participant! That's when I realize I might as well have said "space ships go really fast" because the words I offered had nothing to do with lesson. The teacher responds to my comment with a blank stare and blinks a few times. Then someone rescues me by sharing input more fitting to the topic.

I have to hide my smile and pretend it didn't just happen. The humor inside me that I did it again when I know better; remembering that I still don't stop myself very well. I force my bursting laugh to stay inside like helium in Mylar. Because sometimes that's how it feels to embarrass myself. It's like an addiction, it sort of feels bad in a good way.