1.03.2009

consensus

Sometime when I stop to look around me I feel rather spoiled. I think of the ways I have become more frugal (and other ways not so much) and imagine how much money I would have had available to give to someone else if I always lived this way. And how much more would be available if I tried harder to find other ways to use less. Need less. Do without. If everyone did this how maybe there wouldn't be so many that are hungry. Or homeless. Or without a cure.

I think of my friend who came to visit AZ from NY once and commented on how funny it was that she saw pretty tiles embeded in the cement around community trees. She thought it was interesting they didn't get stolen. I find it interesting when I see things like that now how much money the little extra bling must have cost. And how necessary it really was.

I sit in my car, taking in the aroma of the fresh leather scent that only lasts so long in a new car. I think of my children safely buckled in with full tummies. And I count the luxuries in my life around me. I think of all the toys that I sort, clean clothing I stuff into drawers, and food crammed into my pantry. The softest carpet my toes have landed on. The local shops where I have various selections for various kinds of food. I have a really good life. Too good, perhaps?

I think of the way I have spent my time and energy this week and the worries that crept into my mind. And I really find it sickening that there are other people in the world, like in Gaza, really hoping their family doesn't get blown up tonight.

Sometimes I think we were scattered throughout the earth to see if we make sure our brothers across the water are doing okay. And when they are not, we are watched to see what we do about it. It's not supposed to be easy. It's part of the grandest test. Now what?