This is hard. We jump into this whole ordeal without an earthly understanding of all that we are truly getting into. And all that it fully means to commit to such an enormous responsibility. And that no one explains the extent to which it can really suck sometimes. It is so much more work and taking of you beyond anything you could imagine. We just throw confetti into the air when someone has a baby and we forget to whisper into their ear 'hey this job feels really hard and frustrating sometimes, but it's okay cos it's normal to feel that way. Some days are amazing, but many days are not.'
Which is all good, I would still do it all over again. Every single day of it. Motherhood. And I obviously choose to keep doing it as we intentionally grow our family. But I'm just tired of feeling bad for the guilt of realizing that it's a whole lot of work. And it just gets harder and the work just gets more complicated and heart breaking and frustrating. But those are the parts I guess we aren't supposed to admit to, right? That sometimes a little daydream into former life reminds you it used to be a lot easier. And you didn't even have any idea how much to appreciate that 'easier' life because it was all you ever knew and whatever, it was hard waiting 5 minutes for a treadmill at the gym! THAT made for such a rough evening.
I explained to someone once what it felt like to become a mother. I said simply that it is the quickest way to learn selflessness. And sometimes that learning rubs shoulders with selfishness and they want to have a fight. But selfless always wins. And that's the beauty of how God created mommies. And in all the journey of being a mommy it's okay to be aware that it's a lot more work to do than we imagined. It's all a lot less heavy when we smile, it just might change the world.