Mitzie's head just did the splits

In 4th grade I would walk to school with some other kids on my block. Danielle was sort of nerdy and her mom had a giant red E in the window. I didn't know what it meant, something about if there was an emergency kids could go to her house and she could help them. She was a mean mom and I didn't like her. It made me not want to stop by her house on the way to school to walk with Danielle, but I was new so I still stopped by so I wouldn't be alone. Until I was late too many times then she would leave without me. But I was secretly happy. Maybe that's where my habit for being late was birthed?

So we had this 4th grade talent show and I was all set to be early because my act was going to be the best. The music teacher said we could come early and make sure the tape worked and volume, etc. Danielle was maybe going to do something, too, but I don't remember what. Maybe she was the helper putting my tape in for me? I was so excited, I had experience taking dance class and performing with my dance class for old folks in retirement homes so I knew I would be the best. I had practiced my lip sync routine and dance moves in my room and I was so pleased with my act. I have no recollection of the outfit I pulled together. I am scared to think of what I put on. I hope it wasn't dance clothes. I am sure if it was I planned to wear it all day without a switch of normal clothes. Such is the life of the latch-key kid.

I was early. Danielle was there with me. I was bursting with excitement to take the stage for my debut solo. The tape was in, I took my place. The dance teacher was arranging chairs before the class arrived, letting me have free range of the floor. I don't think anyone else was in the room. Within 2 minutes she asked me to stop the music and told me I couldn't play that song in school. I had no idea what she was talking about. I had recorded it from the radio and it was a catchy tune. I never really listened to the lyrics. I was so mad. She had no idea how long I worked on my moves and lip synced this song into my bedroom mirror.

Then I got home and Danielle's mom called my mom to tell her I went to school with a lot of make-up on (eye liner and blue eye shadow to be exact) and she wanted to make sure my mom knew about it. My mom was annoyed she was so pissy about it to her on the phone. She knew there was a reason for it, I told her about the talent show. But I don't think I told her I never got to do my act.

I just remembered this for the first time since that day and laughed out loud. The song I was trying to perform in the 4th grade talent show was Julie Brown's Everybody Run the Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun.

If you haven't heard the song before, listen here. Or read the lyrics here.

Dude, why did I have to be born so awesome?