Missing Nausheen

One of my favorite Halloween nights in New York was going to the village to watch the parade, it was years ago. I met up with some friends and two of us enjoyed the cross dressers best. You can guess right, I was one of those two! We followed one down the street until we got a picture. If only I had a scanner..... He wore a gorgeous wig full of dark, spiral locks that went down his torso. Electric blue eye shadow and richly lush maroon lipstick.Glittery eyelashes stretching the length of the street. Tight jeans and some black corset top that tied up the back.
He stood at least 6 foot 5.

After we took the pictures we noticed the parade had long ended and we saw scattered drunken Halloween souls wandering from bar to bar, passing a crazy sex shop along the way.

I rode the subway home alone, the F train, giggling at how uncomfortable my husband would have been following my lead that evening. He was cozy at home with the kittens waiting for me to come back and report. Most importantly to him, he missed out on the most amazing Indian food the village has to offer.

children

I know
you deserve
more than this world
could ever give

10pts if you know who sings that line (sans google)

IT'S - IT

To regain credibility, I need to post quickly about another new-to-me product that SURELY will not leave you with hours of abdominal pain (see URGENT post).

I couldn't pass up this cute little box in the freezer section of Safeway. It contains three cookie ice cream sandwiches. I was sold due to a) the cute packaging and b) it's a San Francisco Original since 1928. I know. You are thinking they could post that on a bottle of glue and Liz would eat it. Probably.

So here is what the little packages inside the box look like.

It's similar to a klondike bar, only thinner chocolate coating and the vanilla ice cream is creamy and smooth. As for the oatmeal cookies: the top one is soft and the bottom has more of a crunch. They have a little hint of ginger to them that gives it a unique and crave-able flavor.

It is the new Junior's Cheesecake. Whenever people come to visit I will be sure to stock-pile IT'S-IT. Now....as for shipping to those that don't visit- that's a little more complicated.

URGENT

I officially withdraw the prior statements I made about FLAXSEED chips.
I no longer recommend these chips.

Especially in large doses.

Unless you have issues with constipation.

Then by all means, proceed.

Here's hoping you have a pleasantly

REGULAR

weekend.

littles

I don't exactly know how my husband stumbled upon a site called Little People and I am afraid to look at his Google history, but this art project it pretty awesome. Whatever you think it is going to be about, it is so that.

My favorite is
the man with his pants down.

informational with touch of yawn

Newer foods [to me] on the YES list:

1) Soy and Flaxseed Tortilla Chips
These can be found in health food stores, jamba juice, safeway, or trader joe's. I love the spicy flavor, sort of like a dorito flavor without the dorito fingers. They are soft to bite into and thin so your teeth enjoy the experience a lot more. Oh...and I am sure there are all sorts of healthy heart reasons to choose these, I have just not bothered to really read about what they are.

2) Reeses Peanut Butter Cups with carmel
I was worried there would be too much carmel, but much to my dismay it was a perfect blend. A light layer underneath the usual amount of peanut butter. Hope they are here to stay and not just seasonal.



3) DoubleDoubleMint Mints
The scent of this gum reminds me of my sweet aunt Eyvonne, she was always chewing it. All the other kids would raid her purse for a piece when we gathered as a family, but I resisted. I knew this gum held nothing but lies. Its flavor would fade and you would have to interrupt play time to dispose of it.
The flavor of these mints actually matches that of the gum, only lasts longer. I was worried it would hold the same sting of other winterfresh mouth flavorings. Such flavorings make me sneeze and scrinch my nose for at least 5 minutes. These do not result in said effect.

4) I really think I could make a living out of testing and writing about new food and candy products. I may have health issues in the process, but at least I would save people from making bad consumer product decisions!

not my picture

brothers

Some may not face children's parties with great enthusiasm. To them I say "I undertsand". I also say what great photo opportunities! If it's your thing, that is.

There is so much going on: joy, laughter, truly positive emotion. They are completely oblivious of the camera snapping, so there aren't too many posed faces (signs of good shots to me). Sure the background is almost always going to contain an adult torso, floating arm, or a mysterious pair of legs, but someday I can learn photoshop and fix that. Sure the kids are running around like crazy and many will be blurred, but someday I will learn to use my camera better and I can fix that.

Until then, I love this awesome duo hanging out while a mom wanted to gather all the children for a group shot. One that never really happened. A good sign that the party was too fun to slow down even for a moment.

shudder

These are some
photography
sites I enjoy.

600px

Slower.net

Chromasia

Northern Exposure

Daily Dose of Imagery

Mark Owens is who I will hire when I get my official band together. His dad is our bishop at church so I hope I get a killer deal. Or he at least hooks me up with a chance to meet some of the awesome people he shoots (starting with Weezer). Or even just simply pour his talent into my brain- that would be nice.

zucchini bisque

I read about a girl who got into a horrible car accident and had serious surgeries, one including the need to have her jaw wired shut until she recovered. She is in need of some recipes that are liquid. I immediately thought of our favorite liquid meal: zucchini bisque.

2C chopped zucchini
1C water
1/2 C tomato juice
1 tablespoon chopped onion
1 bullion cube
1 teaspoon of basil
8 ounces cream cheese (cut into pieces)

Combine zucchini, water, tomato juice, onion, bullion, basil into sauce pan. Cook covered for 20 minutes. Blend in blender briefly, then add cream cheese and blend until smooth. Serve immediately. We think it's only enough for 2 people.

not my picture

East Bay, 2006

Paris,1950

Sometimes pictures are just more fitting than words.

I sort of feel like this:

But I really want to feel like this:

Flower picture is mine, the other is by the amazing Robert Doisneau.

What would you title these? I would title them 1) Parched and 2) Overflowing.

more fragments

I like to keep my husband informed on how the day progresses. In great detail. I do it to make sure he doesn't feel left out.

He always listens patiently to every. last. detail. Even if it's 11pm and he worked a 15 hour work day, he listens. He comments. Sometimes asks questions (which friends did you get to talk to today/ how is she?). I go on and on about the decisions I made and how it's really become a good day in the end. So here is my summary, for Mike. Because he was tied up in presentations and meetings today and I know it's killing him that he never got to hear about my lunch.

Decisions Made Today

1) Which channel to select for Zane's morning t.v. time (Noggin or PBS)
2) What to make him for breakfast (eggs and toast or cereal with fruit)
3) How to spend the time between 8:30 and 10 (gym or run errands)
4) Who I want to sit near at singing time (friends or people I don't know)
5) At what point Zane has had too much of singing time and we need to leave (while he runs aimlessly or whines)
6) What to do for lunch (BK or McDonald's)
7) What number to order myself from the BK menu (chicken or beef)
8) Which park to take Zane to
9) How long to stay at park/ which moms to chat with
10) If Zane should be playing with other kids' trucks or not
11) When to change the stinky diaper (now or in 3 minutes)
12) Which halloween costume to select for Zane (cowboy or dragon slayer)
13) Number of glow sticks to buy
14) If I should I spend a lot of money to decorate the house all spooky
15) How long to drive in the car so Zane will fall asleep
16) If I should go to Target and spend more money
(decisions on Target List were made yesterday)
17) What I should clean on my weekly list (bathrooms or vacuum)
18) What to make for dinner (veggie pizza or leftovers)
19) What to blog about
10) Who to call back and when
11) The time I should roll the trash cans out to the curb
12) Determine multiple times
a) When 'time out'/ an apology/ or cleaning up own mess is necessary for Zane
b)What guided play to do with Zane (legos/ read books/ color/ or play chase)
14) What I should do tomorrow
15) What to plan for preschool around the letter C
16) The time I allow my eyes to close for sleep

I know he hangs up the phone and smiles because he loves me. And because his day involved a lot of different types of decisions with other adults and business knowledge, problem solving, technical detail, social grace, and bureaucratic awareness. Additionally, the pressure to do it all correctly so he can support the family. And so I can buy treats.

Some days it really is
the best kept secret
to be a housewife.

and it was all yellow

weapy

I have read this poem before. You have read this before. It's the only time I don't delete an email without reading it again, and then deleting it, forgetting what great advice it holds. The first time I read it I was at work- that first NYC job I wrote about recently. I cried once I got to the bottom as I sat at my computer. I thought about my sister holding her little daughter with SMA each night and how badly it hurt that I couldn't be there with them to understand this and learn about her newly (at that time) diagnosed disease. Wendy sat in the desk next to mine. She heard my sniffles and didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around me. I didn't have to say a word. I wanted to box up a stand-in sister to take my place in AZ. So she could have someone catch her sniffles, too, without having to say a word.

----

To My Child

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them. Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours,
and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day..............

terrain

While I have had various levels of interest in running over the years, I am often reminded of what a blessing it is to be able to do it. To spend time outside with just my shoes and the ground below my feet. To explore new places each time we move.

1) In Long Beach, NY we had the boardwalk. It was more of a senior citizen community, so the wooden slats were mine for the taking. Open air and splashing salt water to the left, tall beachfront apartment buildings at my right. Winter scared me inside many of the months we lived there and I regret that.

2) Brooklyn held many running memories. I ran around Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. It held broken headstones that were swallowed up by the earth. Sneaking glances at the dates through a wrought iron fence I noticed some dating back to the 1830's. My lack of historic knowledge (and interest) limited my ability to appreciate the lives that once lived where I strode. This was a time my husband ran with me around the dead. He pointed to the tallest obelisk and made me laugh at how he insisted he have one on his grave when he dies. Once he sprinted ahead while I planned to make a desperate pit stop to use a restroom at a shabby gas station across the street. I see a 'one-way' street sign and step one foot onto the street without breaking my pace. I hear a car horn blaring loudly and my body somehow falls instinctively backwards. As if a giant belt tugged me away from my next step before my mind could process what was happening. The car whizzed past me so close I swear my shirt brushed against the side of the car door. It was not a one-way road! That moment I was most shaken while running.

3) We took to running at Prospect Park next. This is where my husband trained for many half-marathons and I joined him for his latter loops of his training routine. There are many trees and the scenery is similar to Central Park (same designer). We would pass concerts, drum circles, family reunions, and soccer games. The night we ran that was most distinctive to me was an evening thunder storm that began well into our run. We were 2 miles from home and there was no possible shortcut. We could only run faster as the rain poured and thunder clapped. I think I started an argument that evening (not sure of the topic), but I will never forget it because that was the evening of September 10th, 2001.

4) In Westchester we found a lovely duck pond, but would not run together often. Mike ran distances far from home as he trained for marathons. It is, in fact, where we lived when we had our son. I did get my jogging stroller. I did not, however, run until several months after I gave birth. It took a running buddy to suggest meeting each morning before I started seriously running again on a regular basis. We took some roads by the million dollar homes and through the path that lead us around the duck pond. The scenery was what one would see in a children's book. Ducks and ducklings crossing our path, elderly couples walking hand in hand, and children learning to ride bikes. I shed all of my pregnancy weight and never though I could feel so good!

5) In California Mike has found a canal with friendly neighbors greeting us with each step. I see the sky in all directions and always smile at the bright blue hue. I pass school yards with the sport of the season in pursuit. Backyards with the aroma of garlic from one, dogs barking from another. A long pond, tall grass and trees on one leg of the trek.
One Saturday we went to The Lafayette Resevoir. We round a big lake, hills and valleys surrounding us, and find the path to be bumpy towards the end of the route. I can't find the best place to stop and take a picture that would fully represent how magnificent it is to view the green and golden land. Select tree tops along the way look to be frosted with autumn red. The best part is the reward at the end: a castle-looking playground! Zane loves it, he gets to pop out of his jogging stroller and play until he is weary.

There is much more to explore and terrain to cover. While I currently do not run great distances, it is a great reward to be a runner with the gift of fresh air and natural beauty around to drink in.

the new zia

It's officially home when I establish the location of some good record stores.

Rasputin is one of them in the East Bay. It has the usual scent of incense (covering the odor of pot) as you enter the doors with theft detecting frames. Something too new [I can't determine the band name] blaring from the ceiling. Low budget tags for shuffling through the cases, alphabetized in sloppy rows. Many out of order. Blondie in the C's. Used CDs in the back. Records to the left. A healthy, yet abandoned section of DVDs to the right. Concert flyers litter the floor as gold leaves cover the earth. To my amazement there is a digital listening station that is like a computer in many aisles. You can select any new record from what they sell and give it a listen. I imagine the only way they would invest in this is if it assisted in the auditing/ inventory process.

I found some potential treasures.

Who told me about Reggie And the Full Effect?
Will I like it?

good {point} average

GPA and I are not such good friends. I got my degree in Communication at ASU, which did not have strict GPA requirements. I didn't have much pressure on the GPA front most other college students had. That was intentional.

In my 8-year-young-career, I only had one interviewer ask my GPA. I hesitated and collected my thoughts. Then I took a deep breath. The little pride within me had to step up; I needed to feel accomplished for my 50 hour work weeks and crazy class schedules. For the 7:40am classes I was always late for. For the all-nighters getting homework and papers done after leaving work at 9pm. I explained the course of my college journey and I did it with confidence. With dignity for working my way through college and achieving X as a GPA with the hours I had available to study. For the lessons life gave me juggling so much so young and still smiling about it.

As I left the 33rd floor of a landmark office building in Manhattan's financial district I noticed the richness of the dark wood desks I interviewed infront of. It was a wood I had not had the priviledge of touching before. The newly installed carpet lined the path my heels clumsily tread. Dozens of sky scrapers stared back at me from the other side of windows I passed as I headed to the elevator. I wasn't sure how he took my response. If it was a deal breaker or not. If he was an A student secretly scoffing my efforts to talk-up the notion of being 'average'. I could only walk away knowing I was me. An average grade from an average school. Competing with a job market more complex and intelligent than I could begin to imagine aiming to get their foot into the door I was staring at.

So while it wasn't a stellar set of digits, I still had successful career experiences and made good money. I have a happy life as a mother today. I know in many professions and life paths this magic number means a lot more. There are companies that exist that will not even consider your resume if you didn't go to a certain school and/or get a certain GPA. I applaud such people who reach for that challenge, even more for those that grab it by the horns. I am married to one of those people and admire his efforts and successes for going beyond average with fierce determination.

As for that Manhattan interview, I got the job. It was my first New York job.

Oh, and when I gave birth, they let me take my baby home to be a Mommy without ever asking me what my GPA was.

broken sentences

Like many songs I hear by Bright Eyes, I can't stop listening to this one. Most songs resonate deeper the more and more I listen.

Hearing this guy sing is like riding an old train at night. It's bumpy and dusty and dark and you have no idea where you will end up, but you kind of like it and you hope it's not stopping any time soon. You get lost in thought, allowing your mind to wander around between the stories you are following and your own memories.

The Calendar Hung Itself
reminds me of Questions by Dramarama.

***

I often wonder which would be a bigger challenge for me- if I had to choose between being deaf or blind.

not my picture

XYZ

Okay.
So maybe Michael's Craft store isn't so bad afterall.

I came upon a print of Abba Richman's Alphabet City for Zane's room. If you look closely you can see there are letters of the alphabet found in pictures of every day things.

Lucky for me frames were also 40% off. He officially has the best room in the house.

electric avenue

Every time I see this beauty I want a big, fat strawberry milkshake.

poor quality shot with my cannon digital elf

boudin

In college I took a Performance Art class that was super easy and a lot of fun. One project was to perform a tradition. My group chose to perform about the Jewish Sabbath Dinner, one member in my group was a recent convert. I think we had the best performance for several reasons.


We set the mood by turning all the lights out and lit candles. We dressed in wholesome sabbath clothing. We encouraged the class to respond and participate as if they were part of the dinner with us (they also became part of the art). Repeated traditional prayers and (my favorite part) had the class saying 'shabbat shalom' to one another. Then we took it to the next level: we provided food. We broke break with the whole class. We truly made all the other groups look bad. I only wish we could have broke bread with this bad boy.

he lives in Boudin bakery and you can purchase him, an alligator, or a bear

mile under the ground and i'm thinking that it's Christmas

for many months (long before moving) I have found a lot of my CD cases empty. albeit bewildered, i assumed they were shuffled around in either the car or other CD cases.

Today I discovered the jackpot! The CDs were stacked neatly inside a container designed for new, blank CDs. Only it was filled with oldies and goodies.

They are as follows:

all american rejects
liz phair
2 death cabs
jets to brazil
the cure
2 weezer
dance hall crashers
jewel
idlewild
k's choice
ivy
bestkissersintheworld
del amitri
2 no doubt
mazzy star
bright eyes
pixies (mike's)
Love Parade (mike's)

Too lazy this evening to specify respective CD titles.
Once again, it's like Christmas.

home

Sometimes I forget to make time to do things that revive me.

I forget that I enjoy taking photographs of other people (above).

That listening to good music brightens the colors before my eyes.

That drumming is electricity.

That friends always provide a channel for laughter [in person and on the phone].

That kissing my husband is home.

flappers rock

I am happy to announce my favorite Broadway Show is coming to town!

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Buy tickets now. Come visit and let's go. Dinner will be on the house. With the roof rats.

warm up

I just hosted my first official Ladies Night in California. I have to say it was a success! 8 gals arrived with junk food in tow. The fudge was my favorite this evening, cashews won most unexpected, but tastey treat.

Reasons I feel it was a success:
1) Lots of laughing
2) chocolate
3) no awkward silences
4) no quiet people in corners- even mingling by all
5) boobs. talk about boobs
6) Zane slept the whole time
7) ended around 11pm
8) got the kitchen clean on time
9) none of the roof rat traps in the garage went off

Areas of improvement:
1) more chocolate
2) sex talk
3) time-out to watch Grey's (?)!
4) my fun neighbors could attend
5) Reminder to self: next time remember to put on some make-up

celebs

It would be rather adorable if Travis Barker and Paris Hilton would get married. Think of what a great reality series it would make, in addition to beautiful drummer kids.


Dear Mom- Travis is the drummer in that band we liked, Blink-182.

Lake Tahoe

The Vinsonator, Amy, Unknown Pink Shirt Lady, Mike.

sheaf

Alright, folks.
We know the world is coming to an end
when the Amish have a school shooting.

It just isn't supposed to happen, especially to the Amish!

not my picture. nor my chairs