the year of smith and wesson

CNN is asking people what their plans for 2009 are in terms of personal growth. Since you have to sign on and create an account, I decided it wasn't worth my time sharing my short list of plans. So I will put it here. Just pretend this is CNN and I am an ireporter reporting on...myself.

Liz in Arizona, mother of two, doesn't have steep expectations for 2009. A new little one will be joining the fold halfway into the year, so she expects to be in survival mode preparing and adjusting with this family transition. Her husband continues to travel and her building development does not continue to build beyond the 5 homes currently standing in the ghost town she calls her neighborhood. That being said, she has decided 2009 will be a great year to learn how to use a gun. She will be taking on the new skill of gun handling and plans to hook up with a local shooting range as she enters January. Her main target will not be to kill another human should such a fool enter her home, but simply to blast off his genitals.

She is hoping her husband's company will be able to weather the economic crunch, however, plans to work at Auto Zone down the street (they are hiring!) if they find themselves in a financial pickle. And Del Taco, too, if need be. This is the year she is also going to master the art of food storage collection and rotation. And that about sums up her plans for 2009.

Birth. Guns. Genitals. Food.

I am thinking Liz should put some vinyl lettering on the walls of her home with these words to remind the family of her goals in the coming year.

This is CNN ireporter Liz signing off.