So I have so many things going on in my head right now I can't decide what to write about. I need to get them out so I can think straight and stop having these conversations with myself. Is that normal? Does normal even exist? I am pretty sure it doesn't. I suppose I will keep the heavy stuff tucked in for now and go with the lighter side.....
I lost some links with the crash of the hard drive and found some again. It was nice to only have 10 instead of 40 blogs to check, or so I thought. But then I was able to see Jessica had her baby! A beautiful boy that gave us all a big scare early in her pregnancy. And Tyler had another surgery, a little brave baby the same age as Evan, and he is looking great! And The Langfords are still teaching people about God in Guyana and they are so inspiring. And another Liz stood in the rain with Max for an important cause. And I got to see Laurel's front yard full of California leaves that I really miss along with all my friends. Alysha dressing cute as always, sharing her fashion skills with the world, as if they can handle it. And Kelly doing her orchestra thing and getting filled up the way we mothers need to. And Kathryn's cute party for her little girl!
I didn't miss out on earth shattering information, but I did miss checking in on my friends.
If done in moderation, checking in on the spaces they maintain makes me feel like I am still part of their lives and it makes me happy to read updates. It makes getting settled in a new place a lot less lonely while I continue to make and strengthen friendships and continue to find my place.
This week I found a park I finally like! We went in the middle of the morning spontaneously the way I used to in my former life. Like a dog running its course in the back yard, I miss my rhythm and routine that seems to not have fallen into place yet here.
When I lived in The Beautiful State I would turn left on Ygnacio (ig-nay-she-o) to get to Safeway, Dry Cleaner's, Bakery, Tara's house, Wendy's, Jamba Juice, my doctor's office, Christina's house, church, Cindy's, the women I would visit teach, Maria's house. All within 5 minutes. If I turned right I would find Target, Bally's, the pediatrician, downtown shopping area, Sargam Indian Food, gas station, Erewan Thai Food, the train to SF and The 24 within about 5 minutes. I took Marchbanks to get to preschool, the park, the skate park, the pool within about 2 minutes.
The only tricky place was Taco Bell. That took about 10 minutes and 3 turns.
Here every single place I need to go seems to be in a different direction. And 20+ minutes away. Which is a freaking hassle when you suck at managing your time and following any sort of schedule. How do you coordinate play dates on the fly when you all live so far from the park?! I would have to plan my whole day around making sure I am there on time and then it's pressure and stress so what's the use. And then there is that whole 'I am a late person what if they are not' factor that takes a few play dates to work out on top of the compatibility factor for both mom and kids. I have names and numbers and friends but I am not aware enough of all of our schedules. And when I think of the effort I get lazy and just imagine everyone else has their own routine and rhythm going on already.
I just want to get my routine back, but it's like fitting a circle into a square. At least I saw a beautiful skate park this week and it's my very first favorite place! It's a beauty. I got to roam around in it with the boys one morning and I was excited to turn to Zane and tell him THIS is where he will learn to skate as a big boy, Evan too! I want to take him there early Saturday mornings.
I dunno about this place. Sometimes I just really miss California.