9.25.2008

human defecation

Mike found this gem of a book at the gift shop in some science museum in California. One about planets. I love the person in charge of purchasing for the gift shop and wonder about the thought process behind how they decided to stock those shelves. You know: solar system posters, model kits of the planets, a toy space rocket, moon rock candy, astronaut food, and the book called What's Your Poo Telling You?

Someone is SUPER stoked when this book is purchased. Like the shop manager has a bet with him that no one will buy it and then we came along, us suckers for poo, and bought it. Hoorah! 10 points for Purchasing! It's like where's Waldo- let's see who can find the one thing that doesn't belong in this entire museum and see buys it.

So........this book, it's um, pretty much entirely hilarious. Every page makes me laugh out loud at least twice. Zane's favorite part is the one about Rocketship Poo (page 40, also known as Number Three). There is a clever illustration of a man sitting on a toilet with his pants at his ankles blasting off like the toilet is a rocket. My son likes this kind of fodder for bedtime reading. And I read it to him, because that's the kind of family we are. We like to support the interests of our children.

I like the input from the Doctor explaining why certain kinds of poo take the shape they do. Mostly, though, I like the various labels associated with each poo. Here is the table of contents, for example:

Deja Poo
Monster Poo
Poo-phoria
Dunce Cap
Performance-Enhancing Poo
Floaters vs. Sinkers
Braille Poo
The Chinese Star
Rambo Poo
Number Three
The Streak
Sneak Attack
Soft Serve
D.A.D.S. (day after drinking stool. or 'poo of shame'. the guy on the toilet has on a party hat)
The Green Goblin
The Snake

Pebble Poo (synonymns listed in the book: Kibbles 'n' Bits, Splashers, Butt Hail, Blueberries, Buckshot, Meteor Shower, and called Rabbit Poo- which was confusing to Zane because he didn't understand how rabbits flush the toilet)

Log Jam
Gift Poo
Ring of Fire
Camouflage Poo
Hanging Chad
Rotten Poo
The Clean Sweep
Postpartum Poo
The Honeymoon's-Over Poo
The Ritual Poo
The Sit vs. The Squat
Curtain Call


P.S. I will pay someone $25 to read this on the subway every day for a week.
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