Sometimes a song fits your feelings so perfectly it's like it was written just for you. Sometimes that song will make you shed a tear in the middle of traffic when you finally hear the words weaving together the hundredth time you listen like a deep, maroon tapestry upon completion. Sometimes that song is like a punch in the gut, reminding you about feelings you want to forget.
Recently I have been wondering how I would feel if I got news my father died. Would I go to his funeral? Would the Plan of Salvation I comprehend be enough for me to forgive him? For me to see him as a human being?
Would it be enough for him to wish that he would have been a different person on this earth. To wish he had treated my mother better. Would he get glimpses of what daycare was like for me? The kid who fell and cracked his head open and landed next to me, inches away? Would he feel remorse for the years we were so very thin, but not for fashionable reasons?
Or perhaps he will feel embarrassed that we did it without him. That he contributed zero value to our lives. The sad fact that we were probably better off without him.
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Through his absence, I knew clearly what the most important traits the father of my posterity would need to have. Mike, who danced circles around that tall list, fit the bill. He is the antithesis of my father.
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Styrofoam Plates by Death Cab for Cutie on The Photo Album
This song is simple on paper compared to the experience of listening to it, but I can't find a way to link it (?!).
Lyrics: http://www.lyricsdepot.com/death-cab-for-cutie/styrofoam-plates.html
