new neighbors

8 reasons I know my new neighbors will love to live next to us. The brief times we have crossed paths / been home at the same time he has seen or heard this:

1) Me yelling at Evan to NOT PEE ON THE FENCE again!

2) Me on my knees, digging at my gravel in the front yard near the fence Evan pees on. I have on my pink garden gloves and a paint roller (minus the rolling sponge).*

3) Standing out front with another neighbor under a street light in my husband's giant flip flops and pajamas.

4) Yelling at Evan to STOP PEEING ON THE TRASH CANS!!!!!

5) Yelling at the boys to get into the car at 8am while they run down the street as fast as they can away from me.

6) Standing out front with another neighbor while they drive away slowly. I Wonder if it's going to be like the movie The Burbs where I fully expect them to take a bag of trash to the curb and beat the hell out of it with a stick.

7) Riding scooters with Evan in the back yard reminding him to not pee on the trash cans right before he is about to pee on the trash can.

8) Standing out front waiting for the bus. Only there is no visible reason for me to be standing outside alone doing nothing but standing/ staring at the sky.

9) Just so you know. I totally plan to water the trees in my front yard in my tampon costume. And when Evan pees on the fence or trash cans I can just take off my costume and use it to clean up!

*I had to bury the satelite cord that was yanked up from the ground when their fence was put in. I couldn't find a shovel.