my first

Last night a friend invited me to door bust the mall for the 50% off Gap deal at midnight. It's the only series of clothing that has made it well through all three of my children...OF COURSE I WANT TO JOIN YOU!

We had no idea what to expect. I gagged down a Diet Coke at about 11pm, we hit up some chocolate at a 7-11, my friend got checked out by a guy that wasn't a scumbag so that was awesome.

Then we headed to the mall. We saw a LOT of parking spaces filled. We passed a Best Buy where people were lined up with tents and chairs and blankets. Then we rounded the corner and saw what I can only describe as a Lollapalooza-sized crowd. It was insane. It was filled with teenagers. The air was so cold I could see snowflakes twinkling out of my mouth each time I exhaled. We parked and walked around to scope out the scene.

The line was insane and wrapped around like an S 4 zillion times and then shot over towards the movie theaters 10 states away. What a total disappointment. We then followed some non-teenaged patrons and went right into the mall without waiting another minute. I was so excited I did 7 cartwheels and a David Lee Roth toe-touch in the middle of the air. I wondered how long all those people would wait to get into a mall that had several other access points immediately available. They might have been waiting in line for the $10 gift card the first 2000 people, but there were a LOT more than that waiting. I counted. I am a speed counter. It's a hidden talent, not many people know I have this skill.

We hit The Gap right away and the boy section I needed was well stocked with about 2 other shoppers. By the time I got what I wanted (about 12:15) I turned to find my friend and the store began to fill with more people and the walls/ racks started closing in on me. Suffocation by cotton. It was then I made a mad dash to the little girl section. People, let me tell you something. Mothers in The Gap's little girl section on a 50% off sale are like 50 starving hunters going for the same 2 deer. They were ruthless. Savages. I thought I was in New York for a minute riding the 2/3 subway home during rush hour. Manicured hands were desperately grabbing at hangers, checking sizes, tossing things back and holding their stance so as to not let another shopper near their territory. I had to remind myself several times it was not the night to remember my manners, it was the night I would be fighting like a hunter to get my daughter her holiday outfit. I might have caused a few casualties along the way and I have no regrets. A few eyeballs gouged by hangers- but that was their own fault for not ducking when I shoved by with my armload of successfully collected clothing.

I was shocked, but then impressed by the mothers there with little babies. One was nursing while she waited in line. Oh the line, that's right! How could I forget! The shopping took 20 minutes and the standing in line to pay took about 2 hours. But oh it was worth it. I fully plan on doing it again next year. There's one thing I love more than a stocked pantry and that is my kids' dresser drawers stocked for winter.

It was so confusing to leave the mall at 3am and see a fully functioning food court with loads of people eating as if it was the middle of the afternoon. I would have sat down and had some pizza myself just because everyone else made it look so fun and easy/ normal, but my partner in midnight crime wasn't up for it. So we headed home and I revealed Mike's hidden talent of being magic with his time management predictability skills. It was fun to discover in our conversations how many things are magical at 3am.