5.26.2010

brick wall days

There are days filled with frustration and challenge where I go to bed thinking I might as well have just walked into the backyard at 7am (or in today's case 5:30am) and beat my head against a wall until 8pm. Just about sums up the feeling of accomplishment and productive/ effective parenting. Nonstop consequences for 2/3 of my kids. I won't name names. But I'm starting to believe those people that tell me girls are easier. Sometimes hard days make me feel like I am doing this whole mothering gig all wrong.

I re-read a really good talk from conference by Julie Beck. It talks about how to measure success as a mother. Which has always felt like such a gray area to me. I admit I feel lost without the corporate review process I came to know and love in my former career life.

These are some of my favorite parts of her talk that help me right now:

A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important.......But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life.

For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children.

Good women always have a desire to know if they are succeeding. In a world where the measures of success are often distorted, it is important to seek appreciation and affirmation from proper sources. To paraphrase a list found in Preach My Gospel, we are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need. We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly.

This was perfect to read at the end of a day that had more challenging moments than I would have preferred. Tomorrow will be better. My defeated heart has been propped back up with sticks.
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