pm dawn

Some evenings I plan to steal as many quiet hours sleeping as my baby allows and I head for bed shortly after he is settled into his crib. Then there are the times Mike and I play cards or watch a movie. Other evenings I turn to a long list of blogs to entertain me for what turns out to be a couple of evening hours. So when I tip toe past the crib and peel back the cold sheets, sometimes my husband will stir. Usually he drifts back to sleep easily. Each time, however, I feel pretty lame about how I have spent the evening. Rather unproductive and dull considering how rare that kind of time is available.

On occasion Mike wakes slightly disoriented and asks what I have been doing in an astonished voice as if it is 4am. It always makes me giggle, cos he forgets to look at the clock to see it's really, oh, 11pm. And while I know he understands this little strange world of blogging and how it's the new romance novel for housewives, I still freeze that moment in time when I crawl into bed and think of how I wish I could respond one of these times with a really amazing answer that would impress. Something like

I painted the living room orange!

I got to a new level on World of Warcraft (which I have never played).

I finally filed the stacks of papers that have been sitting for months.

I made a baby quilt.

I retiled the kitchen floor. Just for fun.

I read John Adams.

There are so many options that sound a lot more interesting compared to "reading blogs".
So this week, I snuck past the baby, but faced the opportunity to reply to my love about my time on the computer. Only this time, my reply shot straight from the hip:

Porn.......Albino Twins.
The funny part is the silent pondering that followed.
Along with his reply in a calm voice: I can't even picture that.