okay, so after you have a baby you bleed some. you just do, plain and simple. the hospital provides giant pads that are basically the width and length of an entire human adult arm. the thickness is about that of, oh, i dunno a foot long piece of bread cut in half length-wise.
they also give you witch hazel pads to place along the length of the giant pad. they are little round circles of pain-easing joy. to help you pretend you aren't bleeding and imagine it's not so sore in that special area.
and normally, when having a baby you have not eaten for a while and it's no big deal, you are kind of too busy to notice or think much about it. even if it's obscene amounts of hours for the food lover to normally experience.
so....when it comes time for that 12 step bathroom routine after having a baby, i couldn't help but look at this giant bread-like pad and white circles and think of anything less than HOW FREAKING TASTY A SUBWAY SANDWICH WITH TURKEY AND PROVOLONE WOULD BE.
So there you have it, my first non-hospital food request. He was a little confused isn't wasn't going to be sushi he would bring me like I had planned all these months because yes, i spared him the details of my maxi pad-inspired food obsession.
pretty sick, huh.
don't answer that.
