6.01.2009

The Transition

So. Today's my first day on my own with three. And I have to offer- I am getting sleep. So the hardest part of having a newborn isn't even a factor somehow. It's a miracle. The miracle baby. I don't deserve what a gift both her and this sleeping gig are for me. World of difference.

While I was in the hospital I had time to think about how I want this transition to go. I made a list of the needs of each family member so I could look at it often and make sure I am remembering each person. The ways they are used to feeling special, the things they enjoy doing, and things that make them happy. Including myself and my needs to stay hydrated and snack often to keep up with all that is being sucked out of me around the clock (literally and figuratively). It's funny how easy it is to forget about your own basic needs so easily and how those needs keep you moving like fuel in a car.

I also decided I need to look at each day the way Hugh Grant does in the movie About a Boy. 30 minutes intervals. Most of those are peaceful chunks of time and needs are being met for one or more people. There will also be some 30 minute intervals where everyone needs me at once and there is crying and a ringing phone and an exhausted mommy that want to escape. But that hectic 30 minutes will end and the next 30 minutes is bound to be better. Or maybe the one after that. We can all deal with anything for 30 minutes- even screaming kids and burning dinner, right? With an unpredictable nursing schedule this is a good way for me to allow for demand feeding and not feel chaos by the lack of ability to predict the entire day. And also a realistic way for me to approach a window of time where my arms are free. It's not likely I can clean the whole kitchen at once because within 30 minutes something else is going to need to be addressed. So when I start into something I want to accomplish, I realize it's most likely going to be interrupted a lot more often than I am used to. For a while, anyway.

BUT! I still have goals! And they start small. This week all I care most about making sure we are all clean and fed. The dishes, laundry, crumbs on the floor, developmental kid activities- it can all wait for another week until I can integrate more into my daily life and juggle better. Only adding a little at a time at a pace that I can handle.
And so help me if we have ONE MORE MISSING FLIP FLOP in this house I am going to start stapling them to heads. Really, I'm doing great! Totally holding it all together here.
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