I listened to a lesson about kindness on Sunday. The past several weeks I have been lacking in the kindness overflow I am pretty natural at offering most I come into contact with. At times, it feels like a blessing and a curse to enjoy compassion and kindness so much. Over the years I felt uplifted for caring so much about many people, perfect strangers in some instances. Their burdens added to my own with equal level of concern is too heavy and has caused me to pull back and block out to some degree. I have to train myself to not overly care because it brings on anxiety for me.
I believe this is the first year in my life I have decided it's okay for me to not be overly concerned for every single person I meet. I used to want to fix any and every problem I could, be it offering kind words or taking action to mend someone else's conflict. I used to think it was my duty to welcome every single new person that moved into my neighborhood or ward and bring them cookies and check on them often to make sure they were doing okay. Feeling happy and included. The thing is not all of this effort and emotion is necessarily appreciated. It also took away from the focus of my daily responsibilities within my own life, family, and close friends. It was too much.
This was not covered in the lesson. Caring too much. I suppose it's not a common issue. I do appreciate the self-reflection brought on by the topic and certainly find it always joyful to do and say kind things to others. Some people need it more than others do. It's usually clear to see those that have an abundance in that department. That's always a nice thing to identify- prioritizing kindness when you only have so much to give. Inspiration helps guide this.
I love giving strangers or new friends genuine compliments and acts of service. I find them the most caught off guard, more appreciative, and least likely to feel the obligatory need to reciprocate. I love that most about kindness, the act without expecting anything back. It is one of the best feelings.
It's like tossing stars into the sky.
Posted by liz at 7:36 PM