she's trying to write again

Reading David Sedaris has me hungry for creative writing. Which is normally my lost thoughts that circle through my mind wandering hither and yon. Not necessarily amounting to anything monumental or sentimental. Just random stream of consciousness.

That said.............. I have toyed with the idea of getting a Brazilian Wax. The trouble is, I can't quite picture exactly how it all goes down. Or shall I correct that with how it all gets ripped off? The procedure is too much of a mystery to me for such a private and sensitive area. Big strike against the idea. I also hear it's itchy when the business grows back. Why didn't I probe more about the procedure when I 'heard' this tidbit? I remember wanting to ask 'so were you downward dog or what?'

So it's a nail salon where this procedure can be experienced. Where English might be choppy at best. And qualifications are validated how exactly?

Which leads me to my next beef- how do you certify to be a crotch-hair-ripper-outer? I mean, I imagine you have to have some training, right? And it happens to land in the same business of people that paint my nails. That makes sense. Totally same skill set. Why did THEY add it to their menu? Why couldn't it be the gyno instead. I mean, I am humiliated already once a year might as well be bold and throw in a Brazilian while you're at it. In those nether regions. You've already pried open my cervix, and that hurt like hell, go ahead and throw on the hot wax while you're at it.

Or here's a great idea, the OBGYN office should subcontract the nail salon Hair Waxing Specialists. I could make my appointments together AT the doctor's' office so it's happening in a sanitary place. It wouldn't feel so shady and dirty holed up in what I imagine to be the back of a store....I don't even know what to imagine after that. Standing on a chair? Two chairs? Cheerleading stance? Make-shift bed laying down? Back or stomach? Touching your toes? Is this where they have their lunch? Coffee breaks between waxes? Sick.

Someone needs to take one for the team and go first and tell me about it so I can decide once and for all if I can handle A Brazilian Wax Job.