all our names end in letters that spell zane.
......liZ
sylviA
..evaN
..mikE
Which seems a little symbolic considering the support you need from your whole family when you are on the autism spectrum.
3.24.2010
3.23.2010
3.18.2010
she's trying to write again
Reading David Sedaris has me hungry for creative writing. Which is normally my lost thoughts that circle through my mind wandering hither and yon. Not necessarily amounting to anything monumental or sentimental. Just random stream of consciousness.
That said.............. I have toyed with the idea of getting a Brazilian Wax. The trouble is, I can't quite picture exactly how it all goes down. Or shall I correct that with how it all gets ripped off? The procedure is too much of a mystery to me for such a private and sensitive area. Big strike against the idea. I also hear it's itchy when the business grows back. Why didn't I probe more about the procedure when I 'heard' this tidbit? I remember wanting to ask 'so were you downward dog or what?'
So it's a nail salon where this procedure can be experienced. Where English might be choppy at best. And qualifications are validated how exactly?
Which leads me to my next beef- how do you certify to be a crotch-hair-ripper-outer? I mean, I imagine you have to have some training, right? And it happens to land in the same business of people that paint my nails. That makes sense. Totally same skill set. Why did THEY add it to their menu? Why couldn't it be the gyno instead. I mean, I am humiliated already once a year might as well be bold and throw in a Brazilian while you're at it. In those nether regions. You've already pried open my cervix, and that hurt like hell, go ahead and throw on the hot wax while you're at it.
Or here's a great idea, the OBGYN office should subcontract the nail salon Hair Waxing Specialists. I could make my appointments together AT the doctor's' office so it's happening in a sanitary place. It wouldn't feel so shady and dirty holed up in what I imagine to be the back of a store....I don't even know what to imagine after that. Standing on a chair? Two chairs? Cheerleading stance? Make-shift bed laying down? Back or stomach? Touching your toes? Is this where they have their lunch? Coffee breaks between waxes? Sick.
Someone needs to take one for the team and go first and tell me about it so I can decide once and for all if I can handle A Brazilian Wax Job.
That said.............. I have toyed with the idea of getting a Brazilian Wax. The trouble is, I can't quite picture exactly how it all goes down. Or shall I correct that with how it all gets ripped off? The procedure is too much of a mystery to me for such a private and sensitive area. Big strike against the idea. I also hear it's itchy when the business grows back. Why didn't I probe more about the procedure when I 'heard' this tidbit? I remember wanting to ask 'so were you downward dog or what?'
So it's a nail salon where this procedure can be experienced. Where English might be choppy at best. And qualifications are validated how exactly?
Which leads me to my next beef- how do you certify to be a crotch-hair-ripper-outer? I mean, I imagine you have to have some training, right? And it happens to land in the same business of people that paint my nails. That makes sense. Totally same skill set. Why did THEY add it to their menu? Why couldn't it be the gyno instead. I mean, I am humiliated already once a year might as well be bold and throw in a Brazilian while you're at it. In those nether regions. You've already pried open my cervix, and that hurt like hell, go ahead and throw on the hot wax while you're at it.
Or here's a great idea, the OBGYN office should subcontract the nail salon Hair Waxing Specialists. I could make my appointments together AT the doctor's' office so it's happening in a sanitary place. It wouldn't feel so shady and dirty holed up in what I imagine to be the back of a store....I don't even know what to imagine after that. Standing on a chair? Two chairs? Cheerleading stance? Make-shift bed laying down? Back or stomach? Touching your toes? Is this where they have their lunch? Coffee breaks between waxes? Sick.
Someone needs to take one for the team and go first and tell me about it so I can decide once and for all if I can handle A Brazilian Wax Job.
3.06.2010
we heart jenny even with her foot in her mouth
Sylvia got her first professional haircut today! It was terribly exciting and I knew she would cooperate and be adored by all. She's a rather predictable baby, easy to please while always stirring a positive crowd of adoring fans everywhere we go. She does not go unnoticed. It's sweet and pleasant and never gets to her head. Such a humble little soul she is what with all those compliments flooding in her whole life. It was my tummy that caught some unexpected attention. Something I am certainly not used to.
"I didn't know you were expecting again!" She announced it with such joy. Casually loud enough for the busy Saturday morning patrons filling the hair salon to clearly hear. I felt several eyes shift from my darling girl to one that wasn't inside of me, after all. It's just a food baby. I was not alarmed at all, actually it's gone down a bit just since last week! I was more concerned about her expressed humiliation and effort to retract than I was embarrassed at my temporarily unfit midsection and its attention.
I was ill and the medicine getting me better caused rapid weight gain. That's not an easy or quick thing to explain to a room full of people. I could have laughed it off and said 'No, but damn those Girl Scouts and their cookies!'
Don't we all watch to see how people react to that situation the same way we can't take our eyes off the scene of a wreck? But it wasn't a wreck. I explained it's just weight and it's coming off so no worries! Of all the people I encounter on a regular basis, she is probably one of the few that could say this without me having an internal emotional reaction. She is my autistic son's hairdresser and found a way to accomplish one of the more challenging tasks that face Zane in his current life: a haircut. He is extra-sensitive to the touch and sound of the hair buzzer. It drives him up a wall 100x more than it would for us. But she was always persistent and patient with him. She even pulls out a personal little gameboy for him to play. She is a huge success with him. So she could pretty much punch me in the face and I would still adore her and bring all my children to her for haircuts.
"I didn't know you were expecting again!" She announced it with such joy. Casually loud enough for the busy Saturday morning patrons filling the hair salon to clearly hear. I felt several eyes shift from my darling girl to one that wasn't inside of me, after all. It's just a food baby. I was not alarmed at all, actually it's gone down a bit just since last week! I was more concerned about her expressed humiliation and effort to retract than I was embarrassed at my temporarily unfit midsection and its attention.
I was ill and the medicine getting me better caused rapid weight gain. That's not an easy or quick thing to explain to a room full of people. I could have laughed it off and said 'No, but damn those Girl Scouts and their cookies!'
Don't we all watch to see how people react to that situation the same way we can't take our eyes off the scene of a wreck? But it wasn't a wreck. I explained it's just weight and it's coming off so no worries! Of all the people I encounter on a regular basis, she is probably one of the few that could say this without me having an internal emotional reaction. She is my autistic son's hairdresser and found a way to accomplish one of the more challenging tasks that face Zane in his current life: a haircut. He is extra-sensitive to the touch and sound of the hair buzzer. It drives him up a wall 100x more than it would for us. But she was always persistent and patient with him. She even pulls out a personal little gameboy for him to play. She is a huge success with him. So she could pretty much punch me in the face and I would still adore her and bring all my children to her for haircuts.
jenny => rocks!
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