The Lemonheads. new album. September.

Until then:
a) Angels and Airwaves. Guys from other bands (Blink-182, Offspring, Box Car Racer, etc.) creating good stuff. Atom Willard is awesome on drums,

my hero of the week.

b) Mates of State. Pleasant, yet not so rockin'. Good for mellow housecleaning. Or a dinner party. http://www.myspace.com/matesofstate

i saw this

and my heart completely stopped.

ORGANISM

I can't hear or says these words without blushing. How do other people use them in normal conversation without giggling?

When will I ever grow up?

please?

Hey I have a great idea for gym etiquette. How about lay OFF the perfume? Or choose a treadmill not next to mine. Especially when I am at the end of a 30 minute running session and cannot move to the other side of the room to avoid asphyxiation.

And guess what else! Rolling around in a puddle of Walgreens Rose perfume and then dumping patchouli over your head does not make a great combination. In fact, neither is a positive aroma.

In addition- you didn't even break a sweat while walking s l o w l y on your treadmill and talking to your fancy make-up friend. So the armpit swipes of deodorant would for sure suffice. Perhaps you had your period and feared the fishy odor, in such a case a simple light body spray in nether regions would ease your fears.

.....just in case my coughing and turning purple didn't give you a clue.

porcelain doll bride

apple juice

It's perfectly alright to have juice boxes for your child boarding a plane. People throughout the airport will tell you it is not alright, but it really is. So don't throw them away.

Metal hair barretts, on the other hand, will make the process a little prolonged. In addition to that cute little skirt with the metal decorative danglies attached to the ends of the draw string.

Those items will cause much detailed search of you and child. In addition to much staring and complication keeping a toddler close without being able to hold him for several moments. And then he grabs the metal detector wand while you are being patted down and then it's worth it.

AFO (a fire outside)

I forgot what Arizona in August felt like. Stepping foot onto the steamy asphalt caused the soles of my shoes to soften, then smolder. My face withered and about 3 gallons of water gushed from my forehead. I was speechless until I heard the cicadas clutching the thirsty branches in the scorching sun. The screeching of these beetles made the exact sound I would make if I had to describe the feeling of the desert in the summer. An alternative description would be H E L L.

Besides alternating between the state of a grape indoors and that of a raisin outdoors, it was a week full of fabulousness:

Wedding extravaganza
with the best wedding music that ever was
Meeting my newest nephew
Waiting for my newest niece- still brewing
Belated birthday celebration for the boy
Mexican food
Eyebrow waxing
Aunt Rae Rae's *NEW* drivers license
Pita Jungle
More family visits
Swimming
Bahama Rama Mama
Goodbyes
Terrorism Scares
Stomach Flips
Wishes for rental car
Plane ride home
Zero explosions

Except the sparks from the lovebirds.

no place like home

Damn you, Nordstrom, for not having these in stock today. Don't you know I am attending a WEDDING this weekend and this was an integral part of the outfit scheming?

things i hate

spiders
dirty dish water touching my skin
flying on an airplane
giving blood
needles (unless it's heroin)
just kidding, mom
talkative cashiers
spider webs
bees
wasps
spider webs touching my skin
too many remote controls
crumbs on the bottom of my feet
bad children's music
the dog on Oswald called Weenie

update:
ants
earthquakes
fish eggs

speaking of Jones Soda and DM...