my thursday night enfant

This is the view from my kitchen window in the evening.

I chuckled inside this week when we went for 'sushi' in SF while I ate my California Roll.....IN California. I often have to remind myself that I really live here now and say it out loud to make it seem more real. That my zip code starts with 9. That we can (and did) get sunburns.

Each day it feels less like a vacation and more like my new home. I can't get over how bright it is and how blue the sky is EVERY DAY (so far). In NY you have to jump at the chance you have a fully good-weather-day: one that's not too humid; sunny, but not chilly. Then you drop what you are doing and get the kid to the park before it changes. I feel like I landed in paradise.

Don't get me wrong, David Gray's latest album suffocates my heart each time I listen to it -for what I have left behind so far away, what will never be replaced no matter where I live or who I meet.

goodbye new york

have a good summer

k.i.t.

it's been real

cheers.

Meet the drum instructor, Shane.

Meet his band highbench here: http://www.highbenchmusic.com/

Good stuff. Intense energy and much musical talent pours out of these guys.
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So I took my last train out of Grand Central Station last night. It was my last time in NYC for a long time.
The highlight of the subway experience was when a man entered with his bike, nothing unusual. Only a large man in a suit standing next to him loudly proclaimed:

"There are 3 things I hate on the subway: bikes, strollers, and crack addicts!"

From here you never know where the entertainment will take you. Will it be matched with hostility? Will the comment simply be ignored? Could it lead to a fight and which direction should I go to get out of the way?

The young man with the bike gave him a warm glance and stated simply:

"Well, you are really going to hate me now because I have a stroller in my packpack".

Only one person laughed, that was me. Mostly cos I had a pound of crack in my bag.

you say i procrastinate

Today's audio for my packing enjoyment:

Michael Penn: Resigned

Dido: Life for Rent

The Cure: kiss me, kiss me, kiss me

NIN: Pretty Hate Machine

The Wonder Stuff: Construction for the Modern Idiot

This is the random assortment I pulled together after I packed up half of my CD collection this week. I forgot the golden rule: music should be last on and first off the truck!

last train to clarksville

As my last days in NY are winding down, I am frequently asked if I am excited for my pending move to California. To this I always find myself taking a pause, smiling and aiming for a reply I think people want to hear.

The truth is I am mixed with so many feelings about this move. In the winter I was jumping out of my skin to get out of here and didn't think once about the reality of leaving one of the most amazing places on the map. But this past month I have had a lot of 'last times' going places or seeing people where I had to force myself to not shed a tear. Last drive up the Saw Mill Parkway to my last drumming lesson. Last goodbye to friends from Brooklyn and other places we have lived. Last Sunday at church where my son went to his first nursery class and made his first friends. Last trip to the Manhattan temple. What will it feel like to close the red front door to our home that last time?

The anxiety of flying is setting in, making me physically ill if I think too long about it. Keeping a toddler on my lap the entire time is sure to take that edge off! The timing in which we need to have all boxes packed in addition to the art of suitcase packing and preparing just right to be in an empty house with a toddler for a week prior to boxes and husband arriving. Albeit, navigating through a new city doesn't frighten me as much as it should.

I know on a scale, these things are so small and temporary in comparison to the grand fact that we are going to live in California, a place I never (much like NY) bothered to dream of living in. I recognize the weather will be amazing, the people will be different and more laid back, and we are going to be living in larger space. It will be an adventure with new places to see, more outdoor opportunity for play and less snow. This excites me greatly, but for some reason my brain has the excitement button on hold. I think it will be available once the plane lands and several steps of uncertainty are past me. And mostly the painful goodbyes and letting go of all the things and people I hoped to see that one last time will be gone. Then the last period of the NY chapter will be typed.

It is so strange how this place I bitterly hated in 1999 has become my home, this place where we started our family. Where we experienced ups and downs and all-arounds and became better people than we were when we boarded that plane 7 years ago. I couldn't understand what people loved about NY until I started to know people that live here. Until I saw the culture in each neighborhood I was exposed to. Until I survived 9/11 with New Yorkers (and other transplants) at my side.

I never thought saying goodbye to a whole state could be a process that would involve melancholy feelings.

I feel like I am on the edge of a plane ready to sky-dive, but I know I have forgotten a bunch of stuff and the backpack has to be checked a couple more times.

okgo okwhoa

this brightens by day each time i watch it. you won't be able to get enough, either.
this video moved them up the ranks a million ways as one of my more favorire bands.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=899olfkvhxk

roll call

I have arranged my favorite list of roughly 40 blogs into 2 categories: photo blogs and word blogs. Then they are ranked [within each category] in order of frequency updated.

Is yours at the bottom of my list?

Did I mention if yours is not updated within a month it gets a big, fat delete? Unless you are graduating from NYU Stern, then I cut you some slack and keep you at the top. Because it means you were too busy helping put Zane to sleep at night after getting home from work and school and running.

Sometimes newborns in a family also merit an exception.

29

Today has been a special day for me to not be thirty for one last time. I have very much appreciated the calls and gestures by friends and family this week, and grandma last week! She is always on the ball that lively one!

But I had to post one of the more creative things anyone has ever made for me. A homemade card with candy in place of words on poster board! Here is how it reads:
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On your special day, I wanted to tell you how much you've MENTO[s] me. From FIFTH AVENUE to the MILKY WAY, no greater friend can be found. I will always remember waiting for PAYDAY to go on a shopping SPREE. We always SKOR[d] a great deal (and never spend more than 100 GRAND). We shared a few SNICKERS as we joked about making a FASTBREAK to Vegas. And we had MOUNDS of fun at the SYMPHPONY- or was it a Death Cab for Cutie concert? Many times you have been my LIFESAVER in a CRUNCH. You were an EXTRA good listener to all my CAR[es][AMELLO]. You've been my best friend. So today I'm RAISINET[s] to you! New YORK will miss you....All I have to say is ROLO[ver] San Francisco, because HERSHEY comes!
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Oh yea, my karate tattoo was a pretty amazing thing to get in the mail this week, too. How did you know?

goodbye, bathroom tile

One of my favorite parts of the movie Muriel's Wedding is when two best friends are leaving Porpoise Spit at the end and hang out of the car windows shouting goodbye to everything they pass, bursting with excitement for their new adventure somewhere else.

I really will miss this awesome tile.